It is very
important for a person to be healthy and happy in order to be their most
productive self. Be it at home or at work, support from a fulfilling
relationship works wonder to attain it. However, in a time when relationships
are as fragile as delicate chinaware, we wonder if the investment in time and
energy for something that may not “go the distance” is worth it!
Many of us
do not realize that the single best way to to overcome this apprehension is by
“taking the plunge”... with ONESELF!!
“Your relationship with
yourself is the foundation for everything.”
It is said
that how others treat us is a mere reflection of how we treat ourselves. By
maintaining a healthy relationship with oneself, we have the means to build
healthy relationship with others. Also, if we are not aware of ourselves, our
emotional needs, we can never understand someone else’s emotional needs and
eventually end up having no one who is emotionally available for us.
So how do we nurture this
relationship?
“A healthy self-relationship is the
ability to value yourself as a person, and embrace your strengths and
weaknesses,” said Julie Hanks,
LCSW, a therapist and blogger at Psych
Central. Simply put, one needs to start considering him/her as a separate
entity, just like our parents, spouse, colleagues or friends and do things for
ourselves as we would, for them.
Often we contemplate such ideas but end
up procrastinating for the lack of enough motivation or guidance. Well, I am
listing a few ideas that hold true for relationship of any kind, and would
certainly help you to foster a good relationship with yourself.
1.
You are the other person in this relationship.
It may take time for this feeling to sink
in but start being aware of yourself in a whole different light. As we would in
a new relationship, you need to start noticing yourselves- your likes,
dislikes, what makes you feel good or what puts you off. You will realize you
have started valuing yourself as a person and there is more self awareness.
2.
Care for your needs.
Once you get comfortable with this idea
and want to work on your self-relationship, a great start would be by taking
note of your basic needs. Pay attention to what your body demands- a good
night’s sleep, a healthy nutrition dashed with some exercise!
3.
Let there be merriment.
Key here is to prioritize. Everything under
the sun cannot make you happy. Things that bring joy should be done more often.
Give yourself a treat every now and then, just like you would in any other
relationship.
4.
Pay attention to your inner self.
A healthy relationship with yourself also
requires you to be connected to your inner world, to be aware of the internal
processes. Introspection now and then would do more good to you than you can
imagine. Ask yourself periodically, “What
am I feeling? Why am I feeling this? What do I want?”
5.
Make time!
“You don’t have time for me/us!” Each one of you who’s reading this must have definitely
heard/ said this at least once in your life. Well, like they say, “Charity begins at home.” Start making
time for yourself, devoid of any interruption whatsoever. It might seem
difficult at first to do it with your phone constantly beeping or something
that needs ‘urgent’ attention then and there. I want you to ask you one
question here. Does a cup of tea/coffee with nothing but your thoughts to
yourself seem that impossible a task? I say, Do It!
6.
Meditate.
You have seen how ‘Inner Peace’ helps a
certain sloppy ‘Panda’ to master Kung
Fu, an art which is almost alien to him. Why not us? I do not need to reiterate
the benefits of meditation (It is proven
and accepted worldwide) although I cannot stress enough on the fact that it
is the best gift one can give to oneself. It makes one capable of climbing
mountains both within and outside.
7.
It’s gonna be forever.
Yes, you read it right. You never have to
do something for yourself or make efforts thinking if it’s worth your time and
energy. People may come and go; relationships may wither but the only person
who would certainly be there with you through all your ups and down would be
YOU.
Like I said, cultivating a healthy
relationship with oneself is the groundwork for having a fulfilling and content
life. Also, as you become more self aware, you start keeping realistic
expectations in other relationships as well. So, make a start, Today... Now...
because it’s the only relationship that you are guaranteed to have every single
day of your life!
